Really sad today...cause I though he will accompany me go to play bowling with my uncle they all at night....but I expected that he will say no to this question....know why?? cause he so freaking scare of my dad....as I thought so.....everyone scare my dad....suddenly think of finding another better mate to be my another half....even he treat me good but he is way too scare of my dad.....my dad actually wont how......I simply fool around with the fact and he believe it....it means that he not really want to be with me at all.....shirt smelly so what?? not like got people gonna purposely smell his shirt or what......we just gonna go there to play and that also so hard to achieve?? really full of disappointment today.......lunch also no mood to eat....feel like just want to cry for the whole day......for this tiny thing to him but big matter to me......
Some more at school I feel that I so stupid....what ever the teacher is telling I feel like totally stranger to me....cant even get it at all....like the first time I study like that.....failure day for me.....I thought he can accompany me go there to make me happy but then is not....all failure.....totally bad luck day for me to do what I want.....
I shouldn't let him fetch....cause a sentence he say make me feel sad.....I ask him "What are we gonna do today?"...he ans me "Well what we gonna do is in your hand.....u will plan for me".....but later I found out that what he say is not what he mean....cause after I ask him whether want to come with me to bowling a not....he say that he wanted to watch movie with me today....so what is the purpose of him saying that to me?? is there any meaning of saying something that wont come true?? really hurting me.....don't feel wanted to life anymore.....wondering why I just cant get the courage to hit by a car.......=(
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