birthday day......

Well today is my birthday.....before saying bout today yesterday kinda down....I really don't know why suddenly will feel so so sad.....cried kinda a while....but then too tired I went to sleep.......today wake up kinda late....around 1 in the noon.....I break my own record during the holiday....cause in holiday I never wake up so late....today is the 1st time I wake up so late.....then after that I went to eat my 4 meal......yesterday dinner....supper.....breakfast & lunch.......ate kinda a lot......very full now.....thinking tonight want to go where celebrate.......


Yesterday kinda nice swimming in the night.....feel so cool & cold.....I like the feeling....then I ask Mr.X  to bring his "beloved" friend to come to meet that girl he wanted to meet so much.....well conclusion he say she is pretty & cute.....that why I said to him earlier.....he don't believe me.....but then when I think of it I feel kinda funny.....his friend say he want to stop chasing girl but then I believe is just a stupid talk from him.......actually kinda guilty cause make them go there for nothing....they went they just sit & don't want to join us talking.....hmm.....well gonna enjoy my day.....bye~

why like this?

I really couldn't understand.....why people always get an event stuck on so many same day?? like example my birthday....so many people asking me free a not on that day......I sure free but is at morning & noon.....impossible at night cause I want to out with my boy boy.......some more the day after my birthday....is totally 3 event stuck together on same day.....some more on same time.......is at night time.....I really got to choose between singing....buffet dinner......count down at Sunway with my friends......which should I go?? I have been wondering for myself kinda long time enough.....why always like this?? so many event stuck on same day same time........really making me to split up to many many parts......I really wish can go all event....but then all same time how can I possible go??

I really want to go to all of those 3 event.....but then can only choose one.....which one should I  go?? singing with my family o going outing with school friends or going to dinner with my boy boy.......

Either one is also hard to choose.....I'm a greedy person so could I just go all of those event??

Not yet done anything~~

Oh my God......during this holiday I haven done finish my homework yet.....all stuck in the middle then I just left it.....totally din't touch after that......now I really need to get myself to touch back my homework already........now I think back the homework that need to pass  up kinda lot........some more I gave myself homework also haven done.......really need to get myself back up & start working like busy bee already.....can't waste my time anymore.........cause I think since my school will be opening next week kinda busy for me at night to do revision cause usually got appointment.......XD

I plan to buy my Chinese New Year stuff but haven go buy it yet.......next month surely my wallet will be paining like no other people business......so sad when think of my wallet paining......

eat grass~

Well morning morning wake up...thought that my boy boy would come and pick me on time but then who know that he will late wake up today....1st time he late till so many minute......such a lucky thing that I call him....if not I can't imagine what time I will reach there to do quadrant sampling & line transect.......actually at there I more busy to play with wet wings butterflies than counting species of grass I should be counting......^^


Those butterflies really look different when I look from near......kinda nice & pretty thing to see.....really don't hope to let them free....anyway I still let them go......^^ so I went to cybercafe for around 3 hours....play sdo for kinda long time......having a good time.....ate a snow ice-cream that is chocolate flavor......kinda nice.....not bad.....then had some walking around shopping complex in the nite.....I really break my own record for the whole year since I today really early reach house.......my boy boy finding a suitable nice jeans....hope he can find it....^^ 


I wonder if there is any place sell cheap clothes with good quality & can wear on any season.......is it really so hard to find such clothes I wonder.......but I still will try my best to find.......wish me to found it......^^

Christmas.......HOHOHO....

Hohoho.....Merry Christmas to everyone.....kinda like today......cause I gonna go out to take some fresh air for whole day....so loving it....but then this morning when I wake up I found that the whole world is spinning around my head....I go no reason why such thing happen.......my mum say maybe I got low blood pressure or too least blood in my stream.....but then how can that be possible?? if really is like that I should be earlier gone through such things already........

Well had a good time talking with new friends at Old Town Coffee Shop......kinda nice place I took......cause is under fan and air-conditioner......so nice......don't feel like want to leave the place......really love such situation......but then kinda too over crispy the bread.....all those tiny powder of bread is falling on to my body......make me don't feel like want to call peanut butter again.....=)

Well have you ever meet such a person?? it's start like tis....

Mr.X: I want you to be my girl and I don't mind you at one moment together with 2 guy

I : *shock

Mr.X: Is really.....I like you since the day I out with you.....I am very sure you are the type of girl I want....could you give me a chance to be your guy?? 

I : Erm.......*speechless

Mr:X: Waiter pay bill

Then I really shock....I can't believe what I did to him....I really got no idea what is so interesting bout me making him will talk such a thing.....really couldn't make it right.....feeling head want to explode to think an answer to this question.........

I also never thought that during Christmas day so many people ask me out.......one of them is my kai kor....another is someone that long time ago chase me but then I rejected due to some reason.......another is my boy boy.....but I know he sure ask me out at night cause he been working like a busy bee from morning onward......I have been wondering why my life always like this? when no people ask me there is totally not a single person....but one starts to ask sure a lot people follow next......making me look like a bad girl for some of them since I can't out with some of them.....sorry......

Well....I just only got one wish Santa......I don't hope to be genius or selfish but then could I get a wish come true that is make my life more easier?? I don't want to hurt anyone anymore......I know how it feels when I rejected someone invitation......I don't hope to let anyone that I know feel such thing.....

poor me......

I wasted my whole month pocket money just to buy new shirt yesterday.....kinda expensive actually.....maybe should be said over expensive......cause just a normal shirt like that I think it only worth around RM50+ perhaps......well din't buy also buy already...can't complaint much......lucky that shirt doesn't have any problem cause I forgotten to check it.....now kinda worry later on got problem a not.....cause I should ask for a brand new one.......hope no problem for me.....


Well this month I only can plan to go out one more time only.....since my pocket money is at my limit already.....some more I don't want to go to expensive place buy already....they charge too much.....plan to wait my friend to be free then ask him to take me go to the place that he said cheap & worth.......wondering when will he be free?? cause my school start another one more week.....after my school start I don't know how often can I go out....some more go out would be at night most probably....cause I think he will be working on the morning.....kinda worry....hate end year.....

omg~

So good at last got some one ask me out for a date.....but unfortunately I kinda late go back house making my boy boy so worry bout me yesterday....sorry ya.....^^ some more both of my phone in silent mode....how can I possible to hear any sound?? most scary thing is both of my phone battery is hot like cooking an egg situation.....the battery so hot in a moment I think my phone will be spoil.......but luckily din't spoil....just the battery low afterward.......that guy I went out with yesterday really look like one of my old classmate....really can't believe that I will meet some one so alike like him.....haha.....


So unlucky yesterday too.....I give a puppy bite again......I feed them they bite me......being a good people is a pity thing cause always there will be a bad people to bully after them......well.....those puppy luckily got no any disease...if not I would be death cause not gonna poke by doctors anymore......really pain you know.....><

what can I do?

Now all is left for me is just to cry....even cry can't help anything but at least my heart will feel better....now no one understand me....the people that I thought can be a part of my world is gone...leaving me hanging alone.....feel like I am a zombie.....no more feeling is the best......cry so much for what? stupid me.....cry le can make everything better? no right? it just make things worse.......hurting for me to reject but he want a desktop....so I must support him.....by not going out with him.....but who will appreciate me? nobody....maybe I get used to nobody appreciate what I have done......what I done is just a bad stuff.....no people really understand me......hate it......


Why I don't have the courage to do it?? why I just don't run away or take a knife killed myself?? what is the purpose for me to do all this thing when nobody appreciate me in the way I do my thing? all just know how to blame me if wrong.....if correct just remain silent.......so I just like not existing in this realistic world....even I try not to cry my heart hurts.....who can understand my feeling? nobody.....all is just selfish.....other people thing is always my thing.....really regret coming this world......why couldn't I just miscarriage when my mum fall?? maybe that decision will make a better me than a now me......always not perfect......not good........hurting people feeling girl........actually I don't see my future in my brain....all I see just a black future....cause I betray my dream since long time ago cause of a lot people.....now left nothing in my head but a word....REGRET....

sad day for me......

Yesterday I get a big grasshopper....but then later on I went to check whether it die already a not.....I notice something very terrible.....the behind leg of grasshopper went to stuck at the net.....making the grasshopper only left wit 4 legs.....how can I continue do my project with such a grasshopper?? later my boy boy call me....talking a lot of non-sense.....my mood already not good....some more with his lots of nonsense I really fed up.....1st time fed up with him....why can't he stop talking nonsense?? why he must keep on talk and talk and talk?? why he can't even help me catch?? his problem is my problem but my problem now have change to my problem izzit?


That day my boy tell me to sponsor him so fuel money....which mean cause of me he is using lots of petrol....cause of me he is wasting his money.....cause of me he can't buy his beloved desktop computer.....cause of me he is using money unnecessarily....fine then....I decided....not going out with him anymore....not gonna watch movie with him anymore....since my money is his.....his money is his......fine with me.......money is now more important to him.....me is going down to the list......I got no comment.....what can I say?? he is changing according to time.......

steamboat....^^

So nice steamboat with my boy boy.......include his 2 friends.....I don't mind cause they all kinda good....treat me like small kid.......I like to be treat as that when I wanted to.........>"< well I think I eat kinda lot yesterday night....the food at there kinda normal actually.....I din't taste the soup of the steamboat so I really don't know how's the taste....I just mind to eat the food.....at the same time after you steam the food you also can bbq....yeah.....I like to bbq food......especially when the mushroom got that crispy feel.....hell yeah.....love it......there also got my lovely ice-cream that is mint chocolate chip........>"< eat till so much that my stomach gonna burst........give my boy boy eat the ice cream he say not nice.....sad....that is my favourite leh.....he say till like that........T^T 


My friend is crazy bout this guy.....where she goes the guy must follow....I know both of you are couple but is that a must for him to follow where you go?? it makes me feel like both of them are dog....sorry to say but is true....no matter where she go he must follow......that also include the biology project....it's actually non of his business actually.....cause we just plan to go there to buy insect....and this crazy people let him follow....what he can do actually at that insect shop?? can he help us to identify? can he help us to name it's common name?? can he do what biology student actually doing? no he cant...cause he is physic class...totally out of our thing......if he can help us pay or help all of us take things that would be ok.....but this is doing fucking nothing & just go there make so many idiot noise with his girl....damn you lar.....both of you cant just go out alone together?? worry you will make something that shouldn't be make?? really can't stand it...some more I think that guy din't tell his beloved girl bout his past......or just maybe telling her bout his beautiful past & not ugly......perhaps....who will know?? he looks like a play boy to me.......><

wtf...~

Fuck him man....why the world so huge must meet him at the place where I took my dinner?? he ruin my appetite to eat my tasty KFC burger.....duh.....I thought at 1st when I see that people back it wasn't him but GOD know......it really was him.....hate to meet him when I don't want to see him....after what he does to me in the past I don't think he is the fucking rightful guy for good girls.....well it's over then.....what for I think so much?? I just don't wish to see him anymore.....my other ex are much more better if compare to him......I guess....haha.....


Well I thought of watching the latest movie at my cinema list here....but then I just don't know when will I get the chance to watch it cause my school is almost time to re-open....I need more time to start my revision so that I wont be the last position in the class again......I hate to be last....but then no choice cause all other peoples memory are better than mine....I got no choice......kinda disappoint when I get almost last in the class.....:(

sad thg..~

Heard my boy say that some one die for love.....a guy that almost same age with my die go to jump building for a girl that he just know for few months....I think is a stupid guy....he so handsome want to worry he can't find a better girl than her? really stupid.....but actually to some one maybe is called romantic or something very sweet cause you die for a girl...but then I totally got no idea want to say what bout this guy....cause I don't want to get involve into any trouble...


However today I really feel sad cause my boy say I fat....I know I very fat......you don't have to keep on mention it.......really sad......I rather he punch me on my face than telling me that.....such a painful knife that struck my heart.........TT well my next week tuition gonna take me 4 hours time.....but then after wed I got no more tuition...such a good thing but then can you imagine that 4 hours tuition will take my dinner away? I gonna eat supper on next wed....that gonna make me more fat & my boy gonna say me again....sad......plan to not eat.....but worry my stomach ache....what should I do??

surprise...?

Today wake up so damn early but my friend always late come & take me....late almost that I nearly go back into my room to catch some sleep....but then luckily they come before I change my mind to not going to that surprise party......actually we reach there on time...if we reach damn early we need to wait for the hero to come.....the cake that they made by himself kinda nice but then the cake is not enough spongy & chocolate is kinda too over sweet......I realize today that the insect that I get is kinda big after see my others group member insect...never thought that grasshopper that they catch is so tiny that my butterfly wings are much more bigger than their whole body.....

After back around 11+ I gone to rubbish dump site to catch those beautiful butterfly again....actually today kinda lot of butterfly came to my net compare to yesterday.....or should I say that my skill of catching those butterfly gone better today?? cause a while only I get a few butterfly.....& my job ends very fast today cause I easily get my amount in a very short time......happy with the butterfly I get........tonight gonna go tuition again....so bored at tuition....hope can play my xdo at tuition time....haix.......

school holiday many thing to do~

Actually at 1st I thought school holiday got nothing much to do so I plan to study for my whole holiday...but then who will know that actually I got lots of stuff haven done.....example is my insect project.....my plant press one I think I have done it...cause there is more than enough of species of plant for this project....however I don't think quadrant project will be done in this holiday cause some of my group members are having their part-time job....so actually most of the time the plan to count those grasses actually is nil....


Some more my tuition got a lot of extra classes cause he worry that next year we can't do well in the important exam....well actually I think we can do well if we practice more & give us know which is the most important stuff...he actually should quit talking & explaining so many other things......those issue we can check it ourself later on.......

i really hungry~

As you can see I really felt hungry yesterday night for not eating my dinner.....kinda regret telling him I ate biscuit already.......but then he really pro....play online games until can't feel his hunger.....even he telling me that he not hungry but I don't such a way cause if he really doesn't hungry then how come he want to eat supper??XD some more supper as rice leh........hard to believe that.........

But then my supper is a drink of warm barley......actually kinda happy cause din't eat dinner but at least got a supper of barley.....not bad after all.....still at least got something enter my stomach.......luckily till now my stomach din't show any gastric symptom.......really appreciate it.....^^

trick dou me~

Aiya....today morning got school extra biology class...tomorrow also will be the same......such a bored day.....never thought that the 1st batch of "Rapunzel" is so damn late......luckily din't go to jj with friend in such an  early hours....if not I really don't know want to do what at there since I no money to spend anymore.......looks like my da da don't like to wait me cause he say he already very late only come fetch me but who know that I will be more late than him since that time I tell him around 2 oni come but I din't ready in time due to some problem........


The movie kinda nice.....funny & cute drawing they had....really enjoy watching the movie....but then the movie start kinda late......lucky it start late cause I get chances to meet them.....however they just ignore me just like that.....I hate it when people saw me but then ignore me......argh~~!!! At 1st I really thought he telling me having a dinner with his dad is just like normal dinner but who know later on I found out it was a real dinner....with waiting other people to come......I kinda worry him cause he actually allergic to alcoholic drinks but then he drink so much........& my heart pain when I see he force himself to eat & drink some more.......if can't do it just tell them that you are full la......haix........


At same time I saw one of my net friends & then most incredible she walk in front of me & can't see me again....such a sad day....people can't even notice my presence........did I really so invisible to them??? next time gonna wear something sharp so that people can notice that I actually is standing write in front of them......1st time cook food at other people place really hard....cause I cant get used to the situation at there......those atmosphere but I still finish cook it & taste a bit not like what I aspect it will be....kinda failure.....pity him eat my failure food.....haih~~