tirinG moMenT~

Many thing has happen today....first of all...I very tired mentally...~My cousin sister come today and she at here whole day....my dad today off so is like all people is in the tiny house...feels like wan to explode....~Luckily my dad and my brother go out a while....got at least few hour of peace.....


Since I holiday and no work.....I think a lot of things this few day.....I thinking of getting back with him...should I??many people say he treat me bad but then I dont mind as long he love me....problem is that I worry that when I with him back he still never change....still got many girl outside there....give me a very scary feel....like hanging me in an unbreakable rope in the lonely city.....I keep on thinking that if he dont love me why he want to waste his time and effort on me....if he dont love me then why he will bad mood when I chat with other people....if he no put me in his heart why do he will purposely take me back to house when that time I can just follow my friend car back....


I wonder if he really love me why when I say want break with him he no reply my message....when I silent why cant he start the conversation....when I say things that not true to him why he just cant tell me the thruth....why he want to hide things from me???If he really consider me as his girl he should tell me all cause there is no secret between us....that is what most of the couple does....I really put him as my half but I wonder he does put me too in the same way...~


I know that I shouldnt believe her but then when I say it to him he just remain silent.....as if what I say was the true....why he just cant tell me what he thinking??I wont hurt the person that I love....and I cant fully understand him if he just remain silent and not telling me his personal things...I just wont mad if he tell me the true as you can see...trust me that I wont angry and hate you...but just getting disappointed because I thought you were perhaps different from them....I get attracted to you because you got a very interesting personality but not always keep it to yourself and never express out what your feeling towards most of the things.....I cant understand you if you remain silent and need to tell me in a more directly way....~


I really dont feel like want to continue with a new one cause I think is not fair for him since I haven fully forget you....but as my question haven answer is hard for me to move on....the others really have make my heart touch but I dont want to hurt them....I know I have hurt you a lot Jake but then I really doesnt mean it...~